What The Hell Is Wrong With NUFC?!

Today, I personally accepted relegation. Weeks upon weeks have gone, with an ever-growing majority of the fan base convinced we were going down, and week after week, I’ve believed we could turn it around.

Not anymore.

The bottom line is: we are not good enough for this league, in any shape or form. The players aren’t good enough as individuals, they aren’t good enough playing together as a team, and the rest of the club is in such a shambolic state that there’s nothing to even get excited about when considering we could rebuild.

I’m going to have a go at breaking down the club, and overall seeing what the hell is wrong with Newcastle United on the pitch.

Goalkeepers

I feel slightly sorry for Karl Darlow if I’m honest. He came to the club as our backup goalkeeper, but wasn’t available when Tim Krul picked up his injury. So he was pushed down the pecking order a little more. I’ll be the first to admit, when he came in for that one game a few months ago, he looked terrible. I was shouting and screaming about how poor he was. Perhaps though, this was premature.

Since he’s come in for Rob Elliott (who was nothing short of absolutely spectacular by the way), he’s actually played more than half decent, and pulled off a couple of very impressive saves. Yes, we’ve conceded 6 goals in our last two games, however I’m not convinced it’s his fault. Who’s fault was is? Well…

Left Back

Vurnon Anita is one of the worst midfielders we have at the club, and that’s when he’s playing in the position he prefers! Having him at left back genuinely scares me, and it can’t put a lot of confidence in the goalkeeper when he has a wide midfielder targeting him and running past him at least every 5 minutes. We’re unlucky to have so many left backs out injured, but are any of them actually good enough for premier league football?

Dummett leaves a lot to be desired, he’s weak going forward, not seeming to be able to produce a decent cross, and he seems equally as poor when he’s defending. Anita has a slight excuse of being played out of position. You, Paul Dummett, do not. To go with Dummett on our left back injury list we have Massadio Haidara, who to be honest looks better than Dummett when he’s attacking, but he’s a defender, and he’s not a very good one either. I wasn’t able to see the Chelsea match where Kevin Mbabu was playing, but apparently he was very good. Our future starting left back? If so, good enough for the premier league?

Centre Back

Chancel Mbemba is an amazing defensive footballer. His last ditch tackles and general game play are very good, and I love the sight of him storming through the middle on one of his mad attacking runs, where he fancies himself playing upfront with his buddy Mitrovic. He does have a mistake in him though unfortunately, as do a lot of defenders. He doesn’t have anyone decent playing along side him though to cover him on these odd occasions, he has Steven Taylor. How does this guy still have a job at a premier league club? He was in the side when we were relegated last time! Surely that’s enough of an indicator on what a clown he is? He applies no pressure to the ball, allowing strikers and midfielders alike to prance into the penalty area and have a nearly completely free shot at goal. He’s awful, and he needs getting rid of.

Jamaal Lascelles looks the much better option to him. He lacks the experience that Taylor does, but what good is relegation battle experience when that experience is losing the fight and ending up relegated!? His lack of experience could actually serve him better, and I personally would pick him to play alongside Mbemba every day of the week.

Onto our ever-absent Captain, and I don’t mean just because he’s injured at the moment. He’s just as absent when he’s on the pitch. Coloccini’s time is up. He’s way past his prime, has been for a long time, and has no place at a premier league, or even championship club.

Right Back

We pretty much just have the one option here. Daryl Janmaat. I want to believe he wants to play for us, and I want him to play well, I really do. However, recent performances have been more than lacking, and he needs to own up to it. He got into the fans a few weeks ago, and showed that he does have a little bit of passion in there, which is more than what can be said for the vast majority of the squad. That being said, he needs to produce it on the pitch, and he just isn’t.

Centre Midfield

Do we have any? I mean, of course, on paper, we have more than enough of them. On the pitch though? Where do they go? Wijnaldum hasn’t played well in god knows how many games, and not just away from home, he’s been terrible at home too. There’s no doubting his potential individual ability, but he seems to be mentally weak, and have no heart in his matches. Vacant and unresponsive.

The same could be said for Tiote, who granted, hasn’t played a great deal over this season, but when he has, he’s been pretty anonymous. He used to put himself about everywhere, get stuck into tackles here, there and everywhere and just generally run the midfield. Yeah he’d get carded almost every game, but I’d take that over what he’s kicking out now!

Jonjo Shelvey, in his first few games for the club, was very very good. However, and I feel like I could have this next bit on copy and paste! Recently, he hasn’t been anywhere near good enough. He has more passion than his fellow players, but he isn’t giving us the performances I think he’s capable of. Maybe a season in the championship would do him good and revitalise his career? I’d have him in there next season, and playing alongside Saivet, who I don’t think we’ve seen nearly enough of. He’s a player that’s going to want to prove himself if he gets given the chance, so why not give him that chance? In my opinion, him and Shelvey could work well together, and honestly, what have we got to lose now?

I’d mention Jack Colback and again, Vurnon Anita here, but is there any point? They're both completely useless in this position and any position they end up getting played in. Please, get rid of them. Please.

Wingers

Currently, the only players I’d say were worth mentioning here would be Andros Townsend and Moussa Sissoko, and the later is only getting mentioned because he plays every game, because honestly, he’s not all there is he. Similar to Wijnaldum, I think he has the individual talent to be very good. We’ve seen him absolutely dominate games, and look like he’s walking past players as if they aren’t even there, but he doesn’t produce it enough. The last 8 games or so have been awful from him, and that’s me being conservative, it could be a lot more. He hasn’t got the mental strength to pull his socks up and battle for a team; get rid.

Townsend on the other hand, is a great bit of business. He shows he has the quality, and he shows he has a bit of heart and passion to go along with it. His goal today was top drawer, and it’s not the first time he’s done it. Unfortunately for us, it wasn’t a well worked team goal. It was completely all down to Townsend picking it up himself, having a go at players and producing an unstoppable shot.

Rolando Aarons perhaps deserves a mention here, as he hasn’t really had an opportunity, and at the moment, may be injured. If not though, I’d have him out there in place of Sissoko in a heartbeat. Our other wingers however, don’t really need mentioning, I was as surprised as any to see Obertan somehow get back into the squad today…

The Number 10

Currently it seems as if we have Ayoze Perez and Siem De Jong battling it out for this spot. Personally, I’d go with De Jong. Perez undoubtedly has raw potential and ability, but hasn’t produced it for a fair few games now. De Jong has had his fair share of critics too, but in the last few games, when he’s been on, I think he’s played well. When he came on today he put himself about a LOT, and produced some very good link up play. He might be a bit slow and you may say he’s not up to the pace of the premier league, but he brings players into the game. If only the other players wanted to be playing…

Strikers

I love Aleksandar Mitrovic. His spirit and passion is unrivaled in that team, he’s exactly the kind of character that we need. If the rest of the squad adopted his mind set, we would not be getting relegated, at all. Unfortunately, goals have not flowed for him, which is saddening, as I’d love nothing more than for him to take the league by storm. He tore up the Belgium league, but then this isn’t the Belgium league, we’re at a much higher standard.

However, I do think he can be a success here, and he’s another player I think would benefit greatly from a season in the championship. Get him playing regularly in that league and he’d cause those defenders all sorts of problems, then hopefully if we were to come back up at the first time of asking, he’d kick on and create problems for the defences in the premier league too.

Papiss Cisse on the other hand, I don’t really care all that much for. Don’t get me wrong, when he first came to the club he played incredibly, and couldn’t stop scoring. I thought we’d found another great number 9. But it wasn’t meant to be, and he’s fallen WAY short of the mark in the past couple of seasons. We don’t need him anymore honestly, let him go, and get Adam Armstrong back amongst it. Scoring for fun in league 1, he’d excel in the championship as well, and I believe he’d play extremely well alongside Mitrovic. We could have our own AA strikeforce, which would’ve been handy to help this breakdown of a season we’ve had this time around!

The Manager

There’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that Steve McClaren was bloody awful. A ‘great coach’ who couldn’t coach his players to win football games. He was never big enough for this job, and was never going to take us to ‘top 8 and a cup run’. I wanted nothing more than for that to happen, of course, but he was just a bit crap, wasn’t he?

His replacement, Rafa Benitez on the other hand, is more than big enough for the job. He could be the man to take us to what was promised. Although maybe in a couple of seasons time. He’s a great manager as proven by his CV and track record, and he could revitalise this club if he was to stay with us through the championship.

That being said, I have to question him in the last couple of weeks. His team selection has been slightly questionable to say the least. Taylor is a god awful defender who would concede goals in league 1, whereas he stuck with him after the Sunderland game, but why? He’s evidently not good enough, and Lascelles is the much better option. I don’t like how he has picked Sissoko and Wijnaldum every game either. Would Aarons and De Jong not be better choices? Maybe Perez out wide? I’d prefer it to Sissoko. However, I want to stand by him, I believe he can do us good, and by god do we need it.

Style of Play

Our style has definitely changed recently. We’ve realised our crossing is completely terrible, and I have a feeling that’s why Rafa has Townsend and Sissoko playing on opposite wings, to entice them into playing more through the middle, and not to cross with what would be their weak foot. However, they don’t seem to agree, and try to get the crossing in regardless, but to who? Mitrovic is the only one ever inside the area. Our opposite winger is mincing around too far wide, and our midfielders are too busy scratching their arses waddling around in the middle of the park.

Ultimately, I think the main problem at the moment in the mentality of the players. They don’t want to play for us because they don’t want to be involved in a relegation battle. They’re not mentally strong enough for it. The desire is not there. They lose the ball, they WALK back towards goal, putting minimal effort in. When attacking, the same rule applies, minimal effort, not wanting to break a sweat. No support for the strikers and no link-up play.

Defence is a shambles. Passing is terrible. Wide play is awful. Finishing is diabolical.

Don’t even get me started on the board...