West Ham 2-0 Newcastle - The 'Index 6'

Newcastle put in one of the poorest performances I have seen for a long time last night at Upton Park. However, below average showings are becoming all too familiar, and has seen us look a shambles, indisciplined and, quite frankly, not up for it. Unlike Steve McClaren, who has tried his best to provide any semblance of confidence and belief for the players and fans to grab onto, I could find no positives from last night’s dreadful display (Daryl Janmaat apart), as the following six things we learned from yesterday’s debacle will show.

1.Newcastle’s inability to be able to deliver a decent cross into the box is embarrassing.

It is staggering that players that cost millions of pounds nowadays cannot master the basic footballing art of crossing a ball. This problem has not just appeared this season of course, but the utter ineptitude of Newcastle players to play a decent ball into the danger area last night plummeted to an all-time low.

While excuses can be made for under or over hitting a cross with a defender a yard away from you, or trying to whip a ball in from the by-line while running at pace, there can be absolutely no defence for not being able to get a free-kick or corner past the first defender when you are under no pressure from an opposition player, and you have all the time in the world to put your foot through it.

Thauvin’s delivery was so poor from dead ball positions last night that he was hauled off corner duties midway through the first half… not that Wijnaldum or Colback’s efforts were any better. When a team is struggling to score goals, like we are, these situations represent the best chance to nick one. As a result, I would have them all in for extra training sessions this week, with them doing nothing other than putting in cross after cross after cross until they consistently get it right.

2. If a team is relying on its right back to have the bulk of attempts at goal in a game – you’re in trouble.

According to Who Scored, Newcastle had a total of 14 shots last night. Of these, five (35%) were attributed to right back, Daryl Janmaat. No other Newcastle player managed more than one, and Sissoko and Thauvin did not even manage a single effort between them. Nobody has any doubt that Janmaat is a quality player, but for a player whose primary job is to defend and provide chances for those in front of him, to prove to be our biggest (and probably only) goal threat aswell, is a sad indictment of last night’s display. He was head and shoulders above anyone else in a black and white shirt yesterday, and long may that continue, but I hope the players are made to watch a replay of that game, and feel ashamed of themselves at the standard of their own performances. If we continue to look at players like Janmaat to provide our only legitimate goal threat – then we’re in for a very long and arduous season.

3. We really should have gone all out to sign a goalscorer with experience of scoring in the Premier League.

In a week where Steve McClaren refuelled the Charlie Austin to Newcastle talk, it still mystifies me why Newcastle didn’t try to sign a top quality forward who has already proved that he can score goals at the highest level of English football. Obviously Austin’s name springs to mind, and is on the lips of every fan when this topic is brought up during conversations, but it is not just limited to him. Other than Austin, had I been in charge, I would have made a cheeky bid for Edin Džeko prior to his move away from Manchester City. There are others though: Javier Hernandez is another name that could have come in; Berahino was talked about. Even Rickie Lambert could have done a job here.

Of course the most sensible and logical choice would have been Austin. I am sure that if enough effort had been made, we could have struck up a deal with them to bring him here for a little less than the fee they were asking with one of our fringe players going on loan there for the season (Armstrong could have fit that bill before his Coventry switch). It is all very well McClaren hinting that we will make a move for him in January, the worry is that, if we do not start scoring goals soon, we will be embroiled in another relegation scrap, and would Charlie Austin really want to consider going through a repeat of last season again with someone else? I think not.

4. It may be time for a change of formation, starting with switching Colback to Left Back.

Two things I have observed this season are that we do not have a quality left back on the books, and that Colback does not seem nearly as effective as he was at the start of last season. I always thought that Massadio Haidara would flourish into a good player.

However, in my opinion, he has never taken that step forward that I had expected. I know he has been blighted by injuries, and I still think that the assault on him from Callum McManaman has adversely affected his progress, whether it is physically, mentally or both I don’t know, but when we’re in the position we find ourselves in (yet again), we need to fix what has become a problem position as soon as possible, and continuing to play an under-performing Haidara is not helping Newcastle United, or him. Colback this season has also under-performed, and has been a little off the pace too, and he has become a yellow card magnet in the centre of midfield.

We know that he can play at left-back, and has done so successfully on the occasions he has played there. Maybe it would benefit everyone to try him there, at least to see how it goes. It could give the struggling Haidara a break, Colback the opportunity to find some form, and give McClaren the chance to find a place in the team for Siem De Jong who, in my opinion, makes us look a better team when he is on the pitch – which needs to be more often than it has been.

5. Only five games into the season and already Watford on Saturday has become a ‘must win’ game.

It seems ludicrous to suggest, but after the string of games without a win, or indeed a goal, the home game with Watford on Saturday has suddenly become a ‘must win’ game for Newcastle. Ok, so if we don’t win it doesn’t mean we’re going down or anything like that, but what a win would do is give everyone at the club a lift, and some sort of forward momentum to take into the next clutch of games including two more against teams that finished in last season’s top four.

Yes, Newcastle had a tough schedule to start the season, but games like Saturday are games that, irrespective of when they arrive, we are expected to win. With games against Chelsea and Manchester City coming up, and the Mackems looming on the horizon, we need to win on Saturday, as to go into those games without a win under our belts, and the season (and confidence) seemingly spiralling away from us, we could realistically find ourselves cast adrift, and the scenario for the rest of the season from there does not bear thinking about.

6. Newcastle United are a million miles away from being the top eight side that Mike Ashley demanded and McClaren assured he would provide.

While we have invested in players this summer, and it is welcomed, on performances so far this season (and yes, I realise it is still very early days), Newcastle look nowhere near a top eight team. We have tried to bring in quality, and certainly in the case of Wijnaldum and Mbemba, we look to have succeeded. However, we need them to bed in very quickly, as last night we looked like a group of 11 individuals as opposed to one team. Of course, there have been times already where things did not look as bleak as they did after this week’s game, but all the positives have been defensively, and very little else. We need to find out exactly what our best XI is, and get them playing together regularly. As I said earlier, I would certainly find a place in the starting line-up for De Jong, but I would also like to see more involvement for Rolando Aarons, even if it is off the bench, give the lad more of an opportunity that ten minutes at the end of a game that has already gone away from you.

Right now, I would settle for a few decent performances and wins, a mid-table finish and a decent run in either cup. Consolidate now, and kick-on next year. My pre-season ambitions of a top ten finish have lowered somewhat, but I still think we will prove to have enough quality to pull away from the bottom.